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Aaron moved to Mueller pt 16
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aaron
Mueller Community

Posts: 303
Joined on August 30th, 2007
Aaron moved to Mueller pt 16
by aaron on September 25th, 2009

This is the forty-third in a series of columns about the travels of Aaron and his family in his quest to move from the suburbs to Mueller.

I return to the invisible land of the blogosphere today.

To say my summer was incredibly busy is an understatement. I apologize to my dedicated fan base who have still wanted to read semi-exciting posts dealing with my adventures in Muellerland and topics near and far away. Now for the excuses, I’ve taken three trips this summer, countless days swimming, and passed four more classes on my way to an MBA in entrepreneurial business.

Now that you all believe I was too busy to write a meaningful blog post, I will delve into the conspiracy portion of the post. No, I’m not going to mention JFK’s grassy knoll http://mcadams.posc.mu.edu/gk_name.htm, airplane contrails http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemtrail_conspiracy_theory, UFO’s http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article651296.ece, moon landing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wym04J_3Ls0, or trade towers. Nope, this conspiracy trumps all of them in sheer audacity by our government that it is frightening the power that it has. I would have told this theory earlier but I had to overcome the fear for my safety. I feel it is my patriotic duty to announce that the Great Depression never existed and was filmed on a sound stage. It was just a public ruse to get the general public to appeal the prohibition of alcohol by large brewers who were losing money to the bootleggers and moonshiners. Life sure sucks when you have no job and nothing to do and you can’t get a drink. The proof (ha! A Pun!) of this conspiracy is all around you. Do you see any youtube clips of the great depression online from peoples personal video camcorders? Fact: CNN, MSNBC AND FOX have no logos or bottom screen tickers on any of the old time footage from the “Great Depression” and yes I’m putting the “Great Depression” in quotes from now on. All the footage obviously had to come from governmental secret cities somewhere in a movie lot. They even sped up the footage to make you not see the details so you thought they were in an actual city. They didn’t even film in color. Now I don’t have actual proof that they filmed the whole “great depression http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCNKq0-9p3w&feature=related” on a movie lot, but I also don’t hear anyone refuting it either.

Now I do know for a fact, that Austin Energy has not got good financial planners. The family was very excited about getting solar panels installed and using the very generous rebate that Austin Energy offered and we turned in our application last week to achieve the goal of cutting our electricity dependency in half. However, a lot of other Austinites also had the same idea and their applications flooded the proposed budget for green energy assistance http://www.austinenergy.com/Energy Efficiency/Programs/Rebates/Solar Rebates/index.htm. Unfortunately, Austin Energy has resorted to handshake psyches (* See below) by pulling back their offer and backdating their cutoff date (after many signed applications) to September 1st. It would be like if you were very hungry and ordered and paid for a really tasty plate of meatloaf http://culinaryabortions.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/meatloaf.jpg from a restaurant only to have the cook come out with a plate a really delicious smelling meatloaf http://www.layoffmeimstarving.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/meatloaf-sl-1041992-x.jpg and ask for more money before serving you. Its just plain mean.

Speaking of meatloafs http://blogs.houstonpress.com/eating/meatloaf.png and I am sure you were wondering why my previous analogy used meatloaf http://www.barebonzbutchershop.com/newsite/images/Classic_Meatloaf.jpg instead of lobster thermidore http://www.nolacuisine.com/2007/02/23/lobster-thermidor-recipe/, but I have reserved the date of November 7th in all of your calendars. It is time for the first annual Mueller Meat-Loff Open Championship. Frankly, everyone, whether they admit or not, loves meatloaf http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/2023748/meatloaf_Full.jpg. Heck, even vegetarians will eat a chicken meatloaf http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3368/3611674161_fae1dc8809.jpg (chicken is a vegetable isn’t it?) or a soybean meatloaf http://www.vegievegie.com/vegiemeatloaf.html. The idea of a meatloaf http://blog.cleveland.com/andone/2008/10/MeatLoaf-Paradise-EllenFoley1978L.jpg contest has been floating around a few Mueller porch anti-prohibition sessions and now it is time to make it come into fruition. It’s not a meatloaf http://www.jimsteinman.com/meatloaf_1978_350.jpg cookoff, it’s a meatloff! Also, the meatloff will be open to all and I’ll have rules and entry forms posted soon. Basically, you can enter a meatloaf http://dummidumbwit.wordpress.com/2009/08/10/meat-loaf-two-out-of-three-aint-bad/ to get judged or show up and eat the entries for a small fee with a winner being crowned and the funds going to a charity connected with Mueller in some fashion. Again, I’ll have official rules soon posted. Just don’t get married that date because it will conflict. It should be a pounded meat good time.

Lastly, I know that we are in a recession that is well documented and I believe that the government isn’t secretly making this up, so I’m a little bummed by the slow progress of the infrastructure pace of new development at Mueller. Although, I totally understand why and would probably do the same thing if I was a well respected project manager. I heard a couple of rumors, one of which is that the second pool has been pushed back by at least a year. I also heard that the next phase to be developed will not be by the control tower, but more by the proposed grocery anchor and town center area. Either way, I just hope they open up Berkman soon all the way through as it will make going to Nomad http://www.nomadbar.com/ an easier task. Actually, I hope Mueller gets its neighborhood speakeasy soon. I’ve got my flapper dress all ready and I need a bar to get a drink in so I can over do it and stumble home. On a completely different thought from this paragraph, the best name I ever heard for a bar was “The Stumble Inn http://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/pubs/34349/”.

As always, I will end with my guerrilla Mueller marketing advertisement http://www.aaronwine.com/temp/MuellerGD.jpg. I will also promise to not wait three-four months before the next post.


* Handshake Psyche – because some of you don’t have the humor and mind of a thirteen year old male, a handshake psyche is where you offer your hand for a handshake only to pull back really fast before the offended party has a chance to press the flesh and you then yell out “Psyche!!!!” Don’t make me describe a “Pull my Finger”.
 
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mrs aaron
Mueller Community

Posts: 767
Joined on August 31st, 2007
 
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langhugh
Mueller Community

Posts: 1149
Joined on August 18th, 2007
Aaron moved to Mueller pt 16
by langhugh on September 25th, 2009

Where can I get the 'Muelleripolian' T-shirt?
 
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sandyfivecoat
Mueller Community

Posts: 33
Joined on March 13th, 2008
Aaron moved to Mueller pt 16
by sandyfivecoat on September 26th, 2009

OK. I'm officially laughing my a**** off.
Who new someone pursuing an MBA could rant so eloquently. . . We're ON for the Meatoff -- My dear momma (Gladys Ethyl)'s recipe is coming out of the box. Beware, competitors.
 
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